/To A Mirror

Against The Odds

A supernova is the birthplace of two adversarial aspects of physics. Depending on the size of the star, the supernova is where we get complex matter or the darkness of an all consuming blackhole. Both are a necessity in physics, without any observer to judge, it’s a series of equations. Where you are or what you are in this universe poses different relationships with such an event. However for certain it’s not something either of us wants to be around with today’s technology.

When we look at life it’s not hard to see the balance between opposing forces, and yet seeing the necessity of them can be difficult, depending on the agenda. For example the ego, while it may seem that shedding this piece of consciousness might be advised to transcend the problems we face today (cause who would deny that the motivators of one individual ego aren’t the causes to some of the most terrible things to grace humanity). I would explore what gave rise to the ego, what purpose does it serve, and is it a critical component to the balance?

Are there techniques, trainings, development which we can provide to mature the ego into a different state? A way to balance the inner voice with the hopes, dreams and goals of the outer?

I’m not sure it’s something that isn’t worth casting aside, however, I am always a little cautious when people want to throw out the bad, without considering what it might provide.

I’m also not sure what’s ego and what’s internal, innate responses to environmental triggers. When it’s so easy to click a button here and there to get to someplace which satisfies an immediate urge, I know the ego creeps in after, but is it truly the motivator? It’s what’s there when you hear the inner monologue, for sure, I’m just not sure it’s not biology first.

The phrase “we are our own worst enemy” really does ring true, but we’re also us, we are the amalgamation of the good and the bad, the right and the wrong. It is in the balance of the two that we exist at all. That doesn’t mean it’s perfect, far from it, but it does give some insight that having things that aren’t necessarily ideal, or we say we’re “slow” or “blah” doesn’t mean it’s something that is wrong. It needs to be there. It’s striking a balance, even if we can’t see where or how.

This idealized perfection doesn’t make much sense to me, the beauty is in the flaws, the cracks, the kinks, the uniqueness because otherwise everything is the same, maybe that’s the struggle with eternity, or perfection in of itself. The mind can’t make sense of it even on a philosophical level because the universe around us doesn’t even follow the principle. Holding the expectation that someone is something they are not, is foolhardy, holding an expectation for growth, I would say is where we all can be a bit more understanding. I guess it could be the timeframe in which you think. If I have the expectation for success but that success has to be in the next day, maybe that’s not aligned. But if given the tools and the support, maybe not. Definition of success itself too can be important.

Looking at a modern skyscraper as a window installer, how many screws you think go into setting up all the windows. If you judge the entirety of the project, the human mind can get so easily overwhelmed. I see that phenomena in people for a lot of things, for example they can’t imagine the technology or the difficulty of something so it’s instead just magic, or didn’t happen. People today look at problems and say oh there’s no way we can solve them. I disagree. I think that’s the human looking at the massive wall of bricks and saying no way can I paint each one. We get overwhelmed and don’t have tools to handle it, because how many of us in our lives ever really have a chance to work on big things, or hone that skill? How many of us get to address our problems, voice our own philosophy and have it challenged and shaped and matured? Not many.

But you get to, you have that. Maybe not now, maybe several lifetimes from now (a lifetime I would argue is ~5 years in our minds) but maybe. Maybe not. That’s ok too, because working on ourselves, even in the state you are right now, you’ve thought about these things you’re writing, the words behind your thoughts, you’ve carefully considered and aggregated this information over years to shape it into what it is today. It’s not some musing for musing sake, it’s a discovery process. I’ve seen people that like to talk to talk, or have half baked ideas that make them feel insightful, I came across you though and listened. It’s none of that.

Again not claiming perfection (as if it really exists at all) nor am I saying everything is finalized. Just that the components are there and they’re built very well and are very strong.

So stand strong. Live lightly. Enjoy every last bit.

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Kollan

Kollan

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