Building Up

As a continuation on, how do we tie together everything we’ve discussed as love? First, it’s important to know ourselves, who we are, what we stand for. Second, what are our expectations, are they realistic, or are we stuck in a mindset which prevents the natural existence of growth. Third and finally, integration.

Integrating aspects of love into your life is no easy task, there are many things in this world which will be cause for retreat and trigger in us self preservation, we can think, are we giving more than we’re receiving, but this isn’t a game to play with measured results.

I think one of the biggest reflections I’ve had in the past, is an understanding that letting go is one of the most powerful aspects of love, that understanding frees so much of the restrictions associated with trying to keep love. It’s something that is or isn’t, despite the many aspects of falling in love with someone, something truly respectful of love, persists.

And love can change, the way we love, the different aspects of love, the ebbs and flows, it’s growing too. Which is why I believe the integration of that understanding is paramount. How we setup our understanding of relationship, is similar to how we setup and could be used synonymously with love.

Now I do believe that love demands of us certain things. To share in that experience with others, it’s no light matter, then again it shouldn’t be a burden.

I believe it demands communication. Now this doesn’t mean frequency of communication, but I do believe that it is fostered and bolstered by communication. It should offer us a means of expressively communicating ourselves, unashamedly, thoughtfully and without expectation. This is still a difficult aspect for me to truly experience and understand, withholding expectation in particular. However in reflection, emotional reactions, the lack of levelheadedness is only always temporary. If you can look past it though, everything that ever is, is always temporary. Why fight it?

I believe it demands respect. Being close and vulnerable with someone, sharing with them, it demands a level of respect, which we may be hesitant to provide. This again isn’t easy. There are things we will find in others which we have reservations, opinions of, however I always like to circle back around to this notion that we are all human, we do not have this curated self image 24/7, even if we would like to.

Finally and as touched on above, I believe that love is selfless. Like truly, utterly selfless. This is a very complicated aspect. It says so much more than just a single word. As selfless implies a number of different behaviors, it requests of us many number of things. It is one of the hardest things to do in the moment, but it is one of the things that keeps the mind at ease over the long play.

Do you need all of this for love? Is this really what it is? Well we circle all the way back. “Ironically it’s a four letter word that has contextual and relative meaning only.” So this is my interpretation, this is my exploration. It can and does mean many different things to many different people. I would make my case that this creates the necessary mindset and creates true opportunity for love.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”