/To A Mirror

Keeping Focus

Depending on lifestyle, approach and commitments, the speed at which things happen varies greatly. It’s just a statistical distribution and by no means is a foreign concept.

That speed, however, given different mental states, can provide particular difficulties. For example, if you’re ready to take on the world, things can never happen fast enough, if you’re in a realm of self doubt, can it all just slow down?

So how can we cope?

For me and as an exercise in my own capabilities:

First I take inventory. A lot of things which we put on ourselves, in retrospect, would be ill advised during such times. Or these are simply things that are no longer necessary or things we find interesting. Taking inventory of what is on the plate, in some cases can present clear opportunities for choices, to make the insurmountable available.

Second I look at priorities. Now that I know what is on my plate, I look for what is time critical, what is not, who I want to be what I am doing and what I’m not. Sometimes there are things like restoring integrity, which are quite simple, but see very challenging, however it can alleviate so much of what is burdening. I also pay attention to what attracts me the most, what my mind is doing there. Sometimes it knows what you need the most, and sometimes it’s doing things which seem counterintuitive.

Third I setup a plan. Now I don’t view a plan as the end all be all, I look at it more like a cartographer’s map, where while I’m exploring I’m erasing, adjusting, drawing a new, but I still have what it looks like for the time being. Nothing is set in stone, nothing is final, this is an evolution itself. Having a plan in of itself can create this pressure which I want to avoid, so I make sure my relationship to the plan isn’t capable of disappointment. If I don’t get things done by the time I said, I know that’s ok, in fact I don’t expect to. Having a plan though can offer some security in an otherwise mix of chaos when your free flowing mind is left to ruminate.

Fourth I take action. “The greatest of journey’s starts with the smallest of steps.” Even if it’s choosing not to do something, it’s done. A lot of what I find myself frozen in is the inability to start. We are offered so many options, we have decision paralysis. It gets even more complicated when we have so many people with so many options.

And this circles back to an even bigger issue one of having your own path, your own character, your own journey, checking in with that, ensuring that you’ve got a plan for that, so you know if you’re straying away, or not following what you’ve set as an intention.

It’s easy to sit here and postulate about a black and white decision making process. Sit here and pretend it’s all clear lines in the sand, it’s easy to make decisions. It’s not, I know. But even in the wrong decisions we make, we create opportunities we never would have thought we could have had, the people we meet, the things we see, and it turns out that “wrong” decision was the best decision we ever made.

Life is ultimately not about any of this, and all of it at the same time. Sometimes none of this works, but simply setting up the intention creating in your mind the possibility of what you want, how you want it. Is enough to start the ball rolling. The things we have in our lives which we have invested in, people, things, places, they don’t simply fade away at the snap of a finger, these are the things we carry with us in service to us it’s developing a relationship with them which can be healthy, even if that means setting boundaries.

We become better for it, how could we not? But it’s not pretty, it’s not simple, it’s not so black and white. However even in this beautiful rainbow colored, shades of grey world, a choice is a choice and often times it’s all we have. We guide ourselves and in that we are free, not because we do everything right, but because of who we are, what we are.

This is my story, these are my reflections of life.

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