/me

When In Doubt

What do I say and how do I say it?

In the life that we possess, this finite existence we are either cursed or blessed with, it’s important to take stock and appreciate all that we have. I know I’ve written quite a bit about gratitude, however in times like these, it can be very hard to get out of where you are, and into a mindset that can look beyond.

So, what do I say?

What is it to have the flood of emotion come over your body, to have an experience to which this biology must surrender. It’s intoxicating, why wouldn’t it be? Anger, frustration quickly follow sadness to create this amalgamation of nonsensical behavior (maybe that’s a bad term for it, I just think outside of this feeling, how would I process or react to the situation, if it’s not like the way I am, then likely it’s not me). But it’s not, it’s in love, in caring, in being that this can happen. And in that perhaps there is something to discover about ourselves.

This isn’t easy, this isn’t fun, but it is a part of life, eventually, you just hope it’s never you. We live our lives, reading, watching, hearing about everyone else, but we live our own lives, we live our own ways, and we are not that statistic. The thing is as a culture, as a society, this is the ultimate unknown, the ultimate question, the thing that has kept us asking the same question for, well, ever. See here I am again, stepping away from the situation, trying to take a bigger picture approach, because narrow focus hurts.

I’m sorry, even if nothing happens. It’s maddening to think about. The fact that there isn’t anything to say or do, the fact that ultimately with all that we have accomplished, it is out of our hands (in large part), is just counter to our existence. I don’t have your pain, but I share in it.

Not in proper taste (I won’t share the song name), but something that reminds me of what it really means to be bound in this world.

Always remember, there was nothing worth sharing Like the love that let us share our name

Share name, share the building blocks of life, but that’s not where it stops. And it should never. For we build family wherever our travels take us, and we live for this, in this, through this. So above all else, I just want to share in that love.

This isn’t about me though, this is about you. What do I say? Well I can’t say anything. Words are not to our advantage, why would they be? Just know that in all that we do, all that we share in, there is love, there is our ability to connect, and in that the infinite, for that infinite is us and we, whether we like it or not, are all a part of life, even without it.

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Kollan

Kollan

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